Wedding Speech

[First posted on Facebook January 2009]

This is the speech I wrote for mine and Hyun Sook's wedding reception held at Baldwin's Omega on 3rd January. It doesn't capture everything that I said because I didn't stick to the script all the way through. I mention the other speakers in the speech, but what I didn't know was just how brilliant they all were - as were the band and Djs. For some reason I started the speech by morphing into Sheffield comedian Bobby Knutt by shouting 'AY UP KIDS!'. I'd had rather a lot of wine....



My wife and I have so many people to thank for being so generous with time, money and support - through the whole of our relationship in general and for the wedding in particular. I want to thank all of the people that I mention today. Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

So, guess where me and Hyun Sook met? That's right, we met in a pub. We got to know each other at a weekly meet up of friends called 'pub club' where each week someone would nominate a drinking den that they hadn't been to before and we'd all pile in. The great conceit was that it was a way for us to discover new parts of London - the fact was it was a great excuse for us to meet up and get drunk. HS and I were introduced to each other by our mutual friends Neil, who can't be here as he's in his hometown of Japan, and Sook Young, who I'm proud to announce was voted LG's employee of the year 2008. Neil and Sook Young helped us out during the early stages of courtship when some of our signals to each other got misunderstood. I thought that when Hyun Sook told me that she didn't want me to wait with her at a bus stop that it meant she didn't want to ever see me again, when in reality it meant that she DID want me to wait with her at a bus stop! I had a lot to learn...

I was with the other Neil, and Lucy (happy birthday Lucy), in a pub, when I plucked up the courage to call Hyun Sook out and ask her out on a date. Guess where we went on our first date? That's right, we went to a pub. Now I don't want you to think that we spend all of our time in pubs, but I can't really think of a reason why you shouldn't. Especially as the next people I want to mention are Stuart and Ben.

It was these two fine men who organised my stag do. Actually, they called it a 'hen do' because it might not surprise you to learn that me and my male friends are not the most masculine and laddish in the world. I thought me and Mark were about to get gay bashed by the Southend locals for enjoying a hug at one point . We spent most of the weekend, in pubs naturally, sharing our experiences with each other, talking about our feelings and how men are from venus and women are from Seoul and performing karaoke. But we showed just how rock n roll we are when we had to deal with the police after a fight! Unfortunately for our street cred it was us who approached the officers to report the affray that we had witnessed. I did open my account of the incident by saying 'I'm quite drunk so I'm not sure I'll be the most credible witness'. We gave our phone numbers but, strangely, didn't hear from them again. Thanks to Stuart and Ben for organising such a great weekend.

Hyun Sook's hen do was brilliantly organised by Tracy, who also managed the impossible by designing and putting together a wedding invitation which made me look like an athlete. There are some theories about how I appear to have jumped so high; I was not bouncing on a trampoline, falling off a tall building or trying to jump up for a bottle of wine just out of shot. What had actually happened is Hyun Sook had simply said 'jump' and I did what any sane man would do! I didn't even need Sook Young to explain it to me this time.

Me as an athlete then? Well, try telling that to former England captain Michael Vaughan. Anyone who has mentioned the word cricket anywhere near me will know that I grew up knowing Michael Vaughan. He was a year ahead of me at school and we played in the same teams - he is the most talented sportsman I have ever met. I was very proud of my association with Vaughan and used to brag about it a little, to the extent that at a text match Jamie and Phil ran a sweepstake about how many times I would mention this in the first session. But what does pride come before? My brother in law, Chris who can't be here because, as a former aide to Margaret Thatcher, his safety cannot be guaranteed in Sheffield, met the struggling batsman at a cricket dinner and asked if he remembered me. 'Oh yes', said the weak-chinned yesterday's man, 'I bet he's really fat now!'

I think Chris mentioned something about 'big bones' and 'glandular'. Vaughan also remarked to Chris that we had grown up together on the same 'estate'. I don't know if the struggling weak chinned former England captain was trying to set himself up as some kind of working class hero, but Wyvern Gardens, a cul de sac in Dore village, is hardly the mean streets of Toxteth or Moss Side. In fact, it's about the only place in Sheffield where Chris would be safe from attack.

Mentioning Dore brings me onto my family. Dad and Clare, Mum and Mike have all been so brilliant at making Hyun Sook feel welcome and we'd like to thank them so much for their generosity in arranging such a fantastic party. In my speech in Korea I talked about how different Mum and Mike are from Dad and Clare, it was comedy gold I tell you, but today I just want to say how similar you all are in the love that you've shown me and Hyun Sook. Nothing can go anywhere close to thanking you for all you've done for us, but we've got some flowers for Mum and Clare as a token. Dad might want to put Clare's in the car. Mum, special thanks to you for teaching Hyun Sook about the important things in life: port, brandy, cheese, Robert Taylor hairdressers and high heels.

We are very lucky to have four wonderful loving parents in Sheffield and two wonderful loving parents in Seoul. Hyun Sook's parents can't be with us but are being represented by Hyun Sook's brother, Hyun Sup. Everyone who went to Seoul appreciated how hospitable and generous Hyun Sook's parents are and we both wish they were here with us today. I'd also like to thank everyone who made the trip to Seoul - , Dan Fordham, Guy. Rebecca, David , Stuart, Emma, Ben, Beth, Jude, Debbie, Olivia, Francesca, Mum, Mike, Dad, Clare. Have I missed anyone out? Dan Light? I thought it a bit too insensitive to mention his name in the same sentence as trip. But I'm not going to make any jokes about Dan breaking his leg in South Korea - mainly because I'm sure Michael will have done loads of them already. I likened the idea of doing a speech after Michael to the moment when Brett Anderson of Suede went green at the thought of following a legend like Bob Dylan on stage. Well, today I've also had to deal with Francesca and Kim - the cheeky girls, Uncle Stuart - Benny Anderson from Abba, my Dad - Barry Manilow, and Stuart and Ben, Jarvis Cocker and Benny Anderson from Abba (or Leo Sayer) . Thanks to all of the speakers.

I've already mentioned Hyun Sup, it's great to have him here for a few months to learn English. We have already shown him the cultural sites of London - yes, the pub - where he's learned the following important phrases: 'It's your round', 'I got the last ones', 'make mine a double' and 'not this place, Steven Gerrard's drinking here'. It is so great to introduce him to his siblings in law - Francesca and Kim who are doing such a great job as masters of ceremony, as well as Ben, Emma, Beth and Dan. I hope he'll get a chance to meet Debbie, Chris and Victor soon. I also want to mention my sister Sam, we love and miss her so much.

We would also like to thank the band, Michael, Jude, David and Dan, and our DJ Rebecca, for the music. The song's they're singing. And thank them for all the joy they're bringing. I'm not so worried about being on the same bill as them to be honest....

It's customary for the groom to thank the bridesmaids and say how fantastic they are looking, whilst remembering that they do not look quite as amazing as the bride. Well, in Korea Francesca and Soojin, who can't be here. were bridesmaids, in London Tracy organised the stag do and today Sook Young is sitting on the top table with us. That's a bit confusing, so I just want to say how wonderful all the women here are looking, but not as wonderful as Hyun Sook. And, why not, the men are all looking pretty handsome too, but not as handsome as me.

And thanks very much to all of you good people for attending, especially just after party season. It's great to see you all and we're lucky to have such good friends.

Which leaves me with one person to thank. When I did my speech in Korea I wrote some things to say about my beautiful and wonderful wife Hyun Sook, but it didn't seem right to read things out. It's better to speak from the heart, so that's what I'll do now. (which is what I did).